My choir performs our spring concert this weekend. Gosh, I'd hate for you to miss it, and I have a solo in it, too! So I thought I'd post a virtual concert. (I'll let you know where my solo is so you don't miss it, which would be easy to do.)
We have entitled our concert Barnyard HalleMOOya for reasons that will soon become clear.
Our first piece is a repeat from previous concerts (you can only buy so much new music with your Parks and Recreation grant, after all).
Let Me Fly, arranged by Robert DeCormier
Our director loves spirituals, so here's another one:
Ride the Chariot, arranged by William Henry Smith. Our director, Denise, would be very pleased with this group's fine diction during the quiet bits. "Make sure you don't lose energy here! Keep your diction precise and intense!"
In keeping with our worshipful theme, we'll continue with All Creatures of Our God and King, arranged by Mark Hayes. Just for fun, listen for the altos.We altos sing our hearts out but you can never hear us, so this song gives us a chance to shine just a little bit.
Just when you were wondering if we are actually a denominational choir, we'll keep you guessing by pulling out Dear Lord and Father of Mankind, by John Greenleaf Whittier, but not the version that is most commonly known. In fact, I can't find a recording of it anywhere, so you'll just have to imagine our resplendent voices raised in this simple Quaker hymn.
And now for something completely different! Let's get secular with Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da, a Beatles tune arranged for choir by the King's Singers. Unlike the Salt Lake Choral Artists, however, we actually stick our fingers in our mouths to make the marimba sound (none of this namby-pamby finger wiggling thing they're doing here), and since our alto section has been whittled down to three over the season, we make a trumpet of our hands during the brass bits to project our voices better.
We'll travel to Scotland now and hear I'll Aye Call in By Yon Town, by Robert Burns, arranged by Mack Wilberg. This piece has one of the craziest piano accompaniments I've ever heard. And you have to use your diaphragm so much to get those pesky quick eighth note runs that you're belly is sore by the time you're done.
Thought we were done with spiritual music? Ha! Prepare yourself for Hark, I Hear the Harps Eternal, arranged by Alice Parker.
Now it's the men's turn. They'll be singing Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. There a million different versions of this, none of them quite the version our guys sing, but this one is the closest. I must confess that I have no idea what this song is about, really. I've listened to the words over and over, but my conclusion is that it was such a personal thing that no one can ever really figure it out completely. Anyway, our guys do a beautiful job.
And now we get to the cow bit in our HalleMOOya. Eric Whitacre made it a goal to put all of Ogden Nash's silly little animal poems to music, and we will be singing Volume 1: i. The Panther ii. The Cow iii. The Firefly. Just for fun, here are the words.
The Panther
The panther is like a leopard
except it hasn't been peppered.
If you behold a panther crouch
prepare to say "ouch."
Better yet if called by a panther
don't anther.
The Cow
[the basses have to perform some vocal feats of mooing]
The cow is of the Bovine ilk.
One end is moo
the other milk.
The Firefly
The firefly's flame is something for which science has no name.
I can think of nothing eerier
than flying around with an unidentified glow on a person's posterior!
Can you ever get enough of Eric Whitacre? No. The women will now perform She Weeps Over Rahoon, text by James Joyce, music by Eric Whitacre. But instead of an English horn playing the instrumental part, we have a talented clarinetist.
Again, just for fun, here are the words, since the three parts are not always singing the same thing at the same time.
She Weeps Over Rahoon
Rain on Rahoon falls softly, softly falling,
Where my dark lover lies.
Sad is his voice that calls me, sadly calling,
At grey moonrise.
Love, hear thou
How soft, how sad his voice is ever calling,
Ever unanswered, and the dark rain falling,
Then as now.
Dark too our hearts, O love, shall lie and cold
As his sad heart has lain
Under the moongrey nettles, the black mould,
And muttering rain.
MORE Eric Whitacre, but this time the whole choir gets to sing and we're not singing about animals. We present Five Hebrew Love Songs, with text by Hila Plitmann (fun fact: she's married to Eric Whitacre), music by Eric Whitacre. We also have a lovely young violinist (one of my neighbors, in fact) accompanying us. I love this performance by The Salt Lake Choral Artists. I won't include the words because they are in Hebrew, and unless you speak Hebrew, they won't matter to you. Also, this is where I have my solo. I do the whispered part in Eyze Sheleg, the second to last of the five songs.
Don't quit yet! Only two more pieces, and both of them exciting! Our second to last song of the evening is Naiman Sharag, by Se Enkhbayar. I'm proud to say I brought this piece to Denise's attention and she included it in the program. It's in Mongolian, of course, because if it were in English that would be too easy. Just imagine the eight chestnut horses racing around on the plains of Mongolia. This performance by the Inner Mongolian Youth Chorus is lovely, although it makes me realize our accents are simply atrocious. We're counting on not having any native Mongolian speakers in our audience. (Watch the video up to 4:05, because after that there's some sort of game show (?) thing going on).
Our last performance for the evening is a particularly rousing one, and one that must be saved for last because we're all completely hoarse after singing it. For your pleasure, Ah, el novio no quere dinero!, by Mack Wilberg.
I'm embedding this performance by the Delta Concert Choir because the Mormon Tabernacle performance includes an orchestra, which we not only don't have but isn't called for in our music (fun fact: Mack Wilberg leads the Mormon Tabernacle Choir). The Delta Concert Choir does a very anemic job with the clapping -- they look downright confused in some parts -- but because this version is like ours, with the drums, I'll grit my teeth and embed it.
Thank you for your kind applause. This concludes this evening's performance, and we invite everyone to enjoy some refreshments in the next room.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
The Happy Group Travels by Bus to The Home Depot
I signed up to be a chaperon for the kindergarten field trip to Home Depot last Thursday. I was assigned five children to watch over, including my own Little Gary. Auna, one of the two little girls in my bunch, named our group The Happy Group, and we were indeed happy, for we were to ride actual school buses! Oh, the joy! Oh, the anticipation! With all those smiling, excited little faces around me, I remembered how much I had loved kindergarten.
As our group walked in line to the buses, Little Gary held my hand. He kissed it repeatedly as we trotted along. "This is my mom," he proudly told the other children. "I sure do love her!" A couple seconds later he said, "Do you guys like my mom?" Auna, who is a polite and lovely child, said, "Yes, I like your mom." Little Gary said, "Don't you love her voice?" They were confused by that but were saved from answering because we had just emerged, on a glorious spring day, at the buses.
I rode school buses every single day when I first started school -- one hour to school, one hour home, since we lived quite a ways outside of the small town where my elementary school was located, and we (my brother and I) were the first to be picked up and the last to be dropped off. The best part of the inward trip was when we went down a long hill, at the bottom of which was a cow grate set slightly above the level of the street. You'd start bouncing on your seat about midway down the hill, and if you timed it just right, you'd be hitting the seat at the exact moment the bus bumped over the grate. For a stomach-churning split second, you were suspended in the air before coming down hard enough to nearly snap your spine.
Unfortunately, our bus ride to Home Depot didn't include any cow grates, but the kids loved it anyway. "So this is what it looks like on the inside of a bus!" they kept exclaiming to each other. Their little hands clutched the top of the seats so they could lift themselves up high enough to see out the front. They chattered amongst themselves about the strange window opening mechanism. Meanwhile, my knees were making a pretty serious dent into the back of the seat in front of me. Had there been any cow grates, I would have broken my neck on the ceiling before I had a chance to tell the kids to settle down back there. It's been a long, long time since I rode a school bus.
At Home Depot, a petite woman with a swingy brunette bob talked to the kids about seeds and then let all one bazillion kindergartners and their adults loose to make plant holders. The kids immediately handed me their coats and headed for the line to get their personalized orange aprons (their names written hastily in black permanent marker at the top) and a packet of building components. Once we'd found a big enough spot at the piles of plywood that served as worktables, I got to work.
Because the reality was that I made five plant holders that day, and then, when they announced that there were plenty of bird feeder project packets available, I ended up making five bird feeders, as well. Sure, the kids helped tap a nail in or spread glue messily on the wrong parts while I frantically rushed between them and stole hammers and screwdrivers from unsuspecting adults at other tables, but the only reason my kids all walked out of there with finished projects and the correct coat was because I became Superwoman for an hour. I'm sure, however, that Superwoman probably doesn't sweat heavily at the hairline and armpits or continuously drop her sunglasses when she leans over to pick up infinitely small and hard-to-spot nails from the floor even when she's in the throes of an overly ambitious wood project that includes kindergartners.
Eventually, the projects were finished and bagged, and I had convinced The Happy Group to finally just stick the plant saucer bottoms into their orange apron pockets, since they were going to keep coming off the plant pots and I was a little weary of chasing them through the aisles as they merrily rolled away (the plant saucer bottoms, not the kids). Little Gary was tired and thirsty and hot, so he fussed petulantly and clung to my knee. The rest of the group, who were withholding their petulance because I was not their actual mother, sat in exhausted heaps on the cement floor. I was never so glad to be told to march outside and meet a school bus. We found our seats again for the seven minute ride back to school and remained quiet even through the thrill of viewing the world from the inside of a school bus. I was even grateful to be handed a Rice Krispy treat and a Capri Sun. I miss kindergarten.
As our group walked in line to the buses, Little Gary held my hand. He kissed it repeatedly as we trotted along. "This is my mom," he proudly told the other children. "I sure do love her!" A couple seconds later he said, "Do you guys like my mom?" Auna, who is a polite and lovely child, said, "Yes, I like your mom." Little Gary said, "Don't you love her voice?" They were confused by that but were saved from answering because we had just emerged, on a glorious spring day, at the buses.
I rode school buses every single day when I first started school -- one hour to school, one hour home, since we lived quite a ways outside of the small town where my elementary school was located, and we (my brother and I) were the first to be picked up and the last to be dropped off. The best part of the inward trip was when we went down a long hill, at the bottom of which was a cow grate set slightly above the level of the street. You'd start bouncing on your seat about midway down the hill, and if you timed it just right, you'd be hitting the seat at the exact moment the bus bumped over the grate. For a stomach-churning split second, you were suspended in the air before coming down hard enough to nearly snap your spine.
Unfortunately, our bus ride to Home Depot didn't include any cow grates, but the kids loved it anyway. "So this is what it looks like on the inside of a bus!" they kept exclaiming to each other. Their little hands clutched the top of the seats so they could lift themselves up high enough to see out the front. They chattered amongst themselves about the strange window opening mechanism. Meanwhile, my knees were making a pretty serious dent into the back of the seat in front of me. Had there been any cow grates, I would have broken my neck on the ceiling before I had a chance to tell the kids to settle down back there. It's been a long, long time since I rode a school bus.
At Home Depot, a petite woman with a swingy brunette bob talked to the kids about seeds and then let all one bazillion kindergartners and their adults loose to make plant holders. The kids immediately handed me their coats and headed for the line to get their personalized orange aprons (their names written hastily in black permanent marker at the top) and a packet of building components. Once we'd found a big enough spot at the piles of plywood that served as worktables, I got to work.
Because the reality was that I made five plant holders that day, and then, when they announced that there were plenty of bird feeder project packets available, I ended up making five bird feeders, as well. Sure, the kids helped tap a nail in or spread glue messily on the wrong parts while I frantically rushed between them and stole hammers and screwdrivers from unsuspecting adults at other tables, but the only reason my kids all walked out of there with finished projects and the correct coat was because I became Superwoman for an hour. I'm sure, however, that Superwoman probably doesn't sweat heavily at the hairline and armpits or continuously drop her sunglasses when she leans over to pick up infinitely small and hard-to-spot nails from the floor even when she's in the throes of an overly ambitious wood project that includes kindergartners.
Eventually, the projects were finished and bagged, and I had convinced The Happy Group to finally just stick the plant saucer bottoms into their orange apron pockets, since they were going to keep coming off the plant pots and I was a little weary of chasing them through the aisles as they merrily rolled away (the plant saucer bottoms, not the kids). Little Gary was tired and thirsty and hot, so he fussed petulantly and clung to my knee. The rest of the group, who were withholding their petulance because I was not their actual mother, sat in exhausted heaps on the cement floor. I was never so glad to be told to march outside and meet a school bus. We found our seats again for the seven minute ride back to school and remained quiet even through the thrill of viewing the world from the inside of a school bus. I was even grateful to be handed a Rice Krispy treat and a Capri Sun. I miss kindergarten.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Why I'm Not Funny
I have a sense of humor. Honestly, I do. I realize that I show it on Facebook and leave the heavy, boring, dismal stuff for this blog. It's easier to be amusing in short sentences, since writing hilarious paragraphs is difficult for me. Just so you know.
Here is a picture from our local Walmart that I asked Husband to take during a milk run. The lack of punctuation speaks for itself.
Here is a picture from our local Walmart that I asked Husband to take during a milk run. The lack of punctuation speaks for itself.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
A Rant Against People Who Don't Actually Know What Censorship Is
Our local NBC affiliate decided to drop the show Hannibal after many of their viewers emailed them to complain about the show's violent and graphic nature. It was interesting to read some of the reactions to their decision. While many applauded the station, many more were angry and upset. Their arguments generally ran along these lines: "Stupid Mormons!" "That's censorship!" "If you don't like a show, just don't watch it, but don't ruin it for the rest of us!" "Your kids should be in bed anyway by the time the show airs. What kind of horrible parents are you that your kids are watching TV at 9pm?" There were also some comments that are simply unfit to repeat.
As a parent of children, I have long since become so disgusted with regular network programming that we have let it disappear from our lives. I only like PBS stations, but as I never contribute to their fundraising drives, it's just as well I don't watch their network programming anymore. We pick and choose what we watch through subscription online streaming where there are no commercials and where we can exhibit some control. It's certainly cheaper than cable, and you're not paying for dozens of stations you never watch anyway.
Not only is the quality of so very many network shows abysmal -- pandering to the lowest common denominator of humor and wit, or just an endless lineup of cheap "reality" television -- but I am sick of the commercials. As one parent pointed out, even if she didn't watch Hannibal, and she certainly didn't allow her children to watch, she didn't have any control over the promotional spots for the program. The 30-second spots were so disturbing that she had to change the channel whenever they popped up unexpectedly.
Should the station have let the show go? I don't care one way or the other, and the reason is this: it's a privately owned station and they can do what they want. If they want to make a profit, they have to follow the market forces. Obviously, more people complained about the show than showed gratitude and support for it, and that influenced their decision. The station repeatedly stated that it was a decision that wasn't made lightly. The moral of the story is that if you like something, you better tell the product maker or store owner or television station what you like and why so that it's more likely to stay around. If you don't like something enough to make a fuss about it, do it. You are being listened to.
As for the people who complained about self-righteous Mormons ruining their fun and forcing censorship on their victimized heads, well, you should have said something to the station, I guess. You don't have to be LDS to have morals and wish that entertainment hadn't descended to the crap that most of it has become. And you can find whatever you want anyway, if you look hard enough. Hannibal moved to the CW, so no one is censoring you; just change the channel. What happened isn't censorship, anyway. If they took away the show and then threatened you with harm if you spoke up about it, and especially if they had the force of the federal government's guns and weapons to back them up, that would be censorship. What happened with Hannibal isn't censorship.What happened was a market-driven decision.
And as a philosophical question, is there a reason that we must fill our lives with increasingly more horrifying and nasty depictions of the darkest side of human nature? For what purpose, exactly? To bask in the fact that no one is pushing any sort of morality at you, which might be misconstrued as (shudder) religion? I don't really expect an answer to that. I can't think of any reason why it's a good choice.
What is happening in the military to those who have Christian faith, now THAT is censorship. A stupid television show being moved to a different channel just means you have to reprogram your DVR.
As a parent of children, I have long since become so disgusted with regular network programming that we have let it disappear from our lives. I only like PBS stations, but as I never contribute to their fundraising drives, it's just as well I don't watch their network programming anymore. We pick and choose what we watch through subscription online streaming where there are no commercials and where we can exhibit some control. It's certainly cheaper than cable, and you're not paying for dozens of stations you never watch anyway.
Not only is the quality of so very many network shows abysmal -- pandering to the lowest common denominator of humor and wit, or just an endless lineup of cheap "reality" television -- but I am sick of the commercials. As one parent pointed out, even if she didn't watch Hannibal, and she certainly didn't allow her children to watch, she didn't have any control over the promotional spots for the program. The 30-second spots were so disturbing that she had to change the channel whenever they popped up unexpectedly.
Should the station have let the show go? I don't care one way or the other, and the reason is this: it's a privately owned station and they can do what they want. If they want to make a profit, they have to follow the market forces. Obviously, more people complained about the show than showed gratitude and support for it, and that influenced their decision. The station repeatedly stated that it was a decision that wasn't made lightly. The moral of the story is that if you like something, you better tell the product maker or store owner or television station what you like and why so that it's more likely to stay around. If you don't like something enough to make a fuss about it, do it. You are being listened to.
As for the people who complained about self-righteous Mormons ruining their fun and forcing censorship on their victimized heads, well, you should have said something to the station, I guess. You don't have to be LDS to have morals and wish that entertainment hadn't descended to the crap that most of it has become. And you can find whatever you want anyway, if you look hard enough. Hannibal moved to the CW, so no one is censoring you; just change the channel. What happened isn't censorship, anyway. If they took away the show and then threatened you with harm if you spoke up about it, and especially if they had the force of the federal government's guns and weapons to back them up, that would be censorship. What happened with Hannibal isn't censorship.What happened was a market-driven decision.
And as a philosophical question, is there a reason that we must fill our lives with increasingly more horrifying and nasty depictions of the darkest side of human nature? For what purpose, exactly? To bask in the fact that no one is pushing any sort of morality at you, which might be misconstrued as (shudder) religion? I don't really expect an answer to that. I can't think of any reason why it's a good choice.
What is happening in the military to those who have Christian faith, now THAT is censorship. A stupid television show being moved to a different channel just means you have to reprogram your DVR.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Just So We're Clear: I Cannot In Any Way Recommend HCG or the HCG Diet. Ever. Period.
One of my friends called me up a couple days ago and asked my opinion on the HCG diet. She and her husband had been considering it because nothing else they were doing was working. I started laughing out loud. She and her husband, who regularly participate in Insanity or P-90X workouts that would knock me on my butt within two minutes, are anything but fat. They're not even a little bit chubby. But she asked me my opinion of HCG and not whether I thought she needed to lose weight, so I answered her question.
(I think I've written about my revised opinion of HCG on here, but I can't be bothered to check, so I might be repeating myself. Bear with.)
In short, the HCG diet is designed to kill a person. That's the honest truth. It's completely unsustainable, for one thing, because you are consuming only 500 calories a day. 500 calories is not enough for your body to live on, and because of that, your body will desperately fill your head with visions of sugarplums just to get you to quit starving it and eat something. Starvation does a number of terrible things to your metabolism and your internal organs. Starve long enough and there's a good chance that you won't be able to reverse the damage.
Because you're starving yourself, your body begins shutting down non-vital processes in order to conserve resources. You're also forcing your metabolism to slow down to a snail's pace. So while you're proud of yourself for sticking with your 500 calories a day and your dose of HCG, your body is cannibalizing your muscle tissue for energy, which is exactly the opposite of what you want. Muscle burns more calories than fat tissue, so building muscle is vital in a weight loss plan, but it's extremely difficult to exercise and build muscle when you feel like you are going to faint at any moment.
When you start eating like a normal person again, your body is relieved that you have enough food and is determined not to starve any more, so it packs on the increased energy resources as fat against future starvation. For 99% of people, you'll gain back more weight than you took off, but it will be fat tissue and not muscle tissue. You've just made future weight loss that much more difficult for yourself because now you're more jiggly-puff AND you've damaged your metabolism.
Meanwhile, you're probably wrecking some really vital internal organs. Since you need your liver and kidneys to function well, and because it's nice to have a gall bladder in good condition, quit the HCG immediately.
I've done a lot of research since my own experience with HCG. I admit I was desperate when I spent a lot of hard-earned dollars on this wonderful miracle drug that promised so much, and I did lose 12 pounds before I gave in to my need to eat enough to sustain me. Actually, what really stopped me during that second round of HCG was a strong spiritual witness that I was hurting myself needlessly and uselessly. I quit at that moment.
There are probably other health issues you are not addressing if you've been steadily gaining weight without changing your diet or exercise patterns. This is a toxic world, and I think a vast majority of us are in need of cleansing. We have parasites sucking the nutrients from our food and flooding us with toxic chemicals, we eat refined flours and sugars, and many, many of us are probably suffering from hormonal and other imbalances. All of these could be affecting your weight. HCG won't fix the underlying problems; it will just make things worse.
I've come to the conclusion that the only way to safely eat is to stick with whole grains, plenty of vegetables and some fruits, herbs, legumes, and coconut oil as a fat, and to completely avoid caffeine, soda, coffee, non-herbal teas, alcohol, most dairy, and meat (except in times of hunger or when food is scarce). If you eat right, you can get away with eating a lot of those good foods without putting on weight, so you'll never be hungry or send your body into starvation mode. You can research whether or not you feel you need supplements, but I also think that if you grow your own vegetables using organic mixed material compost, you most likely only need vitamin B12 supplements and occasionally some Vitamin D. Add exercise for muscle building and to keep yourself happy and in good working order.
I'll let you know when I'm at my ideal weight if I'm right about the eating plan. Like Alice in Wonderland, I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. I'm trying to solve my own issues with this desperate and nearly crippling fatigue from which I suffer, but if I can get that worked out, I think eating right and exercising will start producing the results I really, really want.
(I think I've written about my revised opinion of HCG on here, but I can't be bothered to check, so I might be repeating myself. Bear with.)
In short, the HCG diet is designed to kill a person. That's the honest truth. It's completely unsustainable, for one thing, because you are consuming only 500 calories a day. 500 calories is not enough for your body to live on, and because of that, your body will desperately fill your head with visions of sugarplums just to get you to quit starving it and eat something. Starvation does a number of terrible things to your metabolism and your internal organs. Starve long enough and there's a good chance that you won't be able to reverse the damage.
Because you're starving yourself, your body begins shutting down non-vital processes in order to conserve resources. You're also forcing your metabolism to slow down to a snail's pace. So while you're proud of yourself for sticking with your 500 calories a day and your dose of HCG, your body is cannibalizing your muscle tissue for energy, which is exactly the opposite of what you want. Muscle burns more calories than fat tissue, so building muscle is vital in a weight loss plan, but it's extremely difficult to exercise and build muscle when you feel like you are going to faint at any moment.
When you start eating like a normal person again, your body is relieved that you have enough food and is determined not to starve any more, so it packs on the increased energy resources as fat against future starvation. For 99% of people, you'll gain back more weight than you took off, but it will be fat tissue and not muscle tissue. You've just made future weight loss that much more difficult for yourself because now you're more jiggly-puff AND you've damaged your metabolism.
Meanwhile, you're probably wrecking some really vital internal organs. Since you need your liver and kidneys to function well, and because it's nice to have a gall bladder in good condition, quit the HCG immediately.
I've done a lot of research since my own experience with HCG. I admit I was desperate when I spent a lot of hard-earned dollars on this wonderful miracle drug that promised so much, and I did lose 12 pounds before I gave in to my need to eat enough to sustain me. Actually, what really stopped me during that second round of HCG was a strong spiritual witness that I was hurting myself needlessly and uselessly. I quit at that moment.
There are probably other health issues you are not addressing if you've been steadily gaining weight without changing your diet or exercise patterns. This is a toxic world, and I think a vast majority of us are in need of cleansing. We have parasites sucking the nutrients from our food and flooding us with toxic chemicals, we eat refined flours and sugars, and many, many of us are probably suffering from hormonal and other imbalances. All of these could be affecting your weight. HCG won't fix the underlying problems; it will just make things worse.
I've come to the conclusion that the only way to safely eat is to stick with whole grains, plenty of vegetables and some fruits, herbs, legumes, and coconut oil as a fat, and to completely avoid caffeine, soda, coffee, non-herbal teas, alcohol, most dairy, and meat (except in times of hunger or when food is scarce). If you eat right, you can get away with eating a lot of those good foods without putting on weight, so you'll never be hungry or send your body into starvation mode. You can research whether or not you feel you need supplements, but I also think that if you grow your own vegetables using organic mixed material compost, you most likely only need vitamin B12 supplements and occasionally some Vitamin D. Add exercise for muscle building and to keep yourself happy and in good working order.
I'll let you know when I'm at my ideal weight if I'm right about the eating plan. Like Alice in Wonderland, I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. I'm trying to solve my own issues with this desperate and nearly crippling fatigue from which I suffer, but if I can get that worked out, I think eating right and exercising will start producing the results I really, really want.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
I'm Really Not a Snob, but I Can't Claim I'm Not Lazy
Part of my church calling is to visit ward conferences. Since we have twelve wards in our stake, there's one ward conference per month. I get to hear a lot of different speakers and teachers present their thoughts, and there are some very dynamic teachers out there. Today, one of the other ladies in the Stake Relief Society Presidency leaned over to me during the Relief Society meeting and whispered, "This ward is always interesting to visit." We had enjoyed a lively discussion during Sunday School discussing Section 46 of the Doctrine & Covenants, and in Relief Society, we were talking about a General Conference talk by Elder Hales entitled "Being a More Christian Christian." Many of the women shared ways in which we LDS people can interact with our neighbors and friends.
In Utah, there are a lot of LDS people (Mormons). That's a fact. And with so many LDS people living nearby each other in neighborhoods, it often seems to the non-LDS neighbors that the Mormons are snobby and clique-ish. While there are always people in any group whose behavior makes you positively cringe with embarrassment, most LDS people don't actually intend to be snobby. We are busy, like everyone else, and as a result of our callings within our congregations, we often interact more with other LDS neighbors and not as much with the others. We know those members we see at least once a week at church, and that makes it easier. But then we often don't take the time to get to know our other neighbors. Or we're shy. Or we're afraid they won't like us because we're LDS. Or for whatever stupid reason, we never really follow up on our intentions to invite them over and get to know them.
On either side of me, I have non-LDS neighbors or neighbors who are baptized members but who don't attend church. I'm happy to say I know all of their names and we all get along fine with each other. But I have never asked them to dinner because I'm always aware of the fact that my house isn't exactly how I want it to be. Why I think they expect perfection from a woman with six kids and half the neighborhood hanging out in various rooms of the house at any given hour, I don't know. I have never forbidden my children from playing with non-LDS kids, but I haven't invited their parents over because I'm tired, the house is not tidy, and I get too stressed out about making everything lovely and perfect. What a sad excuse.
I grew up in Northern Minnesota, where LDS people are few and far between. I had friends who knew nothing about my church or who had very odd ideas based on rumors and myths they'd heard from uninformed people. Most of the kids I went to school with were Catholic or Protestant or Jewish or didn't affiliate themselves with any religion in particular. If they had questions about what I believed, I had no problem answering them. It never occurred to me that they would be offended at my beliefs, and they never were. Puzzled, maybe, but not offended. It was great to go to church on Sundays and worship with people who believed like I did, but I was not afraid of people who were not LDS.
I'm not afraid now, either. I'm tired, though. And lazy. And busy. And so I probably seem snobbish and clique-ish to my neighbors, even if I wave and smile at them or share a few comments about the weather or the one neighbor's amazing home-grown tomatoes.
Anyway, we had a very interesting discussion in Relief Society, and yes, that ward is always fun and interesting to visit. You never know what's going to happen or what someone's going to say. I love that. It was a great day at church and I felt spiritually fed. Maybe one of these days I'll feed the neighbors.
In Utah, there are a lot of LDS people (Mormons). That's a fact. And with so many LDS people living nearby each other in neighborhoods, it often seems to the non-LDS neighbors that the Mormons are snobby and clique-ish. While there are always people in any group whose behavior makes you positively cringe with embarrassment, most LDS people don't actually intend to be snobby. We are busy, like everyone else, and as a result of our callings within our congregations, we often interact more with other LDS neighbors and not as much with the others. We know those members we see at least once a week at church, and that makes it easier. But then we often don't take the time to get to know our other neighbors. Or we're shy. Or we're afraid they won't like us because we're LDS. Or for whatever stupid reason, we never really follow up on our intentions to invite them over and get to know them.
On either side of me, I have non-LDS neighbors or neighbors who are baptized members but who don't attend church. I'm happy to say I know all of their names and we all get along fine with each other. But I have never asked them to dinner because I'm always aware of the fact that my house isn't exactly how I want it to be. Why I think they expect perfection from a woman with six kids and half the neighborhood hanging out in various rooms of the house at any given hour, I don't know. I have never forbidden my children from playing with non-LDS kids, but I haven't invited their parents over because I'm tired, the house is not tidy, and I get too stressed out about making everything lovely and perfect. What a sad excuse.
I grew up in Northern Minnesota, where LDS people are few and far between. I had friends who knew nothing about my church or who had very odd ideas based on rumors and myths they'd heard from uninformed people. Most of the kids I went to school with were Catholic or Protestant or Jewish or didn't affiliate themselves with any religion in particular. If they had questions about what I believed, I had no problem answering them. It never occurred to me that they would be offended at my beliefs, and they never were. Puzzled, maybe, but not offended. It was great to go to church on Sundays and worship with people who believed like I did, but I was not afraid of people who were not LDS.
I'm not afraid now, either. I'm tired, though. And lazy. And busy. And so I probably seem snobbish and clique-ish to my neighbors, even if I wave and smile at them or share a few comments about the weather or the one neighbor's amazing home-grown tomatoes.
Anyway, we had a very interesting discussion in Relief Society, and yes, that ward is always fun and interesting to visit. You never know what's going to happen or what someone's going to say. I love that. It was a great day at church and I felt spiritually fed. Maybe one of these days I'll feed the neighbors.
Monday, April 15, 2013
I'm Cuckoo for Coconuts!
My poor family. I start reading something or other, and if I get excited about it, they have to listen to me cement the information in my head by explaining it to them at great length. My blog is supposed to partly relieve that pressure, but if I don't manage to write it all out, my family gets to hear me process it.
"You talk a lot about things like this," said Elannah one day. I think she had me all to herself and must have asked just the right question to set me off on some pet topic. "Sorry," I said, sheepishly. "No, it's okay," she said. "You're excited about things and that's okay." She is an energetic and busy 12 year old. Sitting around listening to old people talk is not her idea of fun.
Sian is far more complimentary. She'll come and ask me a question about something or other, and then off I go on a long spiel. It's not a harangue; I mean, let's be clear. I'm not lecturing her or the other kids on what they should do and why they're doing things wrong. I'm answering the question and then offering evidence to support a specific opinion I've come to. So after I've talked and talked and Sian has sat and listened very patiently, I'll stop and say, "Wow. I'm so sorry you had to endure that," and she'll answer with perfect sincerity, "No, Mom. I like hearing you talk. You're very intelligent and I always learn a lot. I wouldn't ask you a question if I didn't like to hear the answer you give." Such a bright, bright child.
I've discoursed at length about all kinds of subjects. Recently, my FIL and I discussed the 2nd Amendment and why Americans find it so important. He's a Brit, and he thinks in an entirely different way about the whole thing, so it was enlightening for both of us. I've also been thinking about the Word of Wisdom, which is the LDS (Mormon) code of eating (in a nutshell: plenty of plants and whole grains, very little meat, and no alcohol, tobacco, or strong drinks like tea or coffee). I read a book a couple weeks ago called The China Study, which is an example of excellent and thorough scientific research, and it agrees with the Word of Wisdom, though the author hadn't the slightest inclination of it. Boom.
My latest thing is coconuts. I happen to love coconuts and coconut products. I considered it a superfood before I found out it really is a superfood. You can throw the husk in your compost pile for its plentiful nutrients, the water is incredibly healthful, the meat is delicious, and coconut milk is a staple in my pantry. I've started using coconut oil instead of any other vegetable oils (and certainly instead of margarine or shortening, which are anathema to me). Even the refined, deodorized coconut oil I can get from my local grocery store is working for me.
I'm very tempted to start listing all the reasons why coconut oil is amazing and wonderful, but I'll limit myself to the fact that I've lost four pounds by using coconut oil instead of any other fat (except a little butter). I try to eat three tablespoons of it a day, and it's definitely increased my energy and endurance (which are both abysmal). It all starts with medium-chain triglycerides (MCT) as compared to the long-chain triglycerides (LCT) and how they act in your body. MCTs in coconut oil encourage the body to burn fat as fuel, where LCTs in vegetable and other hydrogenated oils encourage your body to store fat. MCTs boost metabolism and provide the saturated fat that your cells require to work. Read a book like The Coconut Diet to get a more thorough understanding of it all.
I made my own coconut milk yesterday, in fact. I then used it to cook up a batch of my favorite rice pudding. Husband said it was the best rice pudding he's ever eaten, and he never says things like that on a whim, so I know he was serious. And fortunately, my mom and grandma have really enjoyed talking about coconuts with me. My parents, brothers, and grandma come over for dinner and they get an earful of whatever it is I'm thinking about. The fact that they keep coming over says to me that either they're gluttons for punishment or they are really, really great about forgiveness. Good thing. I'm not sure I'll ever change.
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